Sunday, March 4, 2012

Oh Kenny…

Today I seen on facebook that it is Kenny’s 39th birthday. Kenny is my cousin. He is the most adorable boy ever. A full head of brown hair, cut with a bowl as a measuring tool I am sure. Big round brown eyes. His laugh, open mouth, head back, fun and love flowing with the sound. How I love Kenny.

Kenny died suddenly when I was 8, so he was 10 I believe. It has been 29 years (I think) and he is immortalized in my mind, he has stayed 10. My fun loving older cousin, who I probably drove nuts. I cannot believe so many years have passed, I am old, and he is like peter pan to me. A little boy forever.

I remember the day, we were on our way home from our first day of school, driving down the dirt road. Grampa suddenly stopped his tractor in the field, and jumped out, gramma barreling down the road towards us.

I was so young, I didn’t’ understand, I just knew something hurt in my heart. My mom was sobbing, my sister Kat ran into the woods to hide. I tried to follow, I didn’t know what to do, how does a 8 year old understand?

We went to Edmonton, he had been taken to the hospital there, where they could do nothing and he passed away. My understanding is that he had an aneurysm in his brain. At school, in front of his friends.

When we seen Aunty Judy, I remember she just grabbed me and held me close, you could feel her grieve and pain, it was in the air. I remember the sadness we all felt.

I will admit, I have some fears and anxiety over Kenny’s death. I guess if I was smart, I would phone Aunty and find out exactly what happened… Rather I just panic inside every time one of my kids has sore legs or headaches (the only symptoms if I remember correctly). I have to fight the urge to freak out over those two common things.

I am however very grateful for the knowledge I have now. I know without a doubt that Kenny is going to live again, that he will be in the highest level of Heaven. I know that he is help mate or guardian for me and my family (not in a creepy way, I just believe my deceased relatives directly help us, protect us). I know that Kenny will be with his family again. I know that he is Happy and healthy!

I love you Kenny, and have never and will never forget you! See you soon!


PS My boys drive now, you might want to stay close!

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